By now, Bongo assumes you have read through the initial contract proposals submitted by the school district and by the teachers union. The buzz around town is that a few union representatives have made all of the teachers look pretty bad. Then Bongo got to thinking. Really, they could have asked for more. So I came up with the list of top ten things that the union negotiators forgot to ask for in their initial proposal:
10. One hour paid nap time every afternoon
9. Limo rides to and from school
8. Hot tubs in all teachers lounges
7. No student contact on school days that precede a paid holiday
6. Student graders for all homework
5. Extra duty pay for walking the length of Chesak School
4. Board paid grievance attorneys for the union
3. Catered lunch followed by head and neck massages every Friday
2. Designation of the Monday after Spring Break as “optional” for teachers
1. Hot lattes in the mornings; $200 for every minute they are late
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