Wednesday, April 16, 2008

A Day in the Life of Larry Snow

Bongo overheard a conversation at the groomer the other day. Two other pooches were talking about Larry Snow and wondering how someone who tries so hard to cause so much damage spends his days. That got Bongo to thinking. While the rest of us are trying to perform good deeds, could Snow's day go something like this?

5:30 AM - Wake up from dream of disrupting a board meeting

5:45 AM - Shower, shave, brush teeth

6:00 AM - Eat breakfast and look for stories of how I disrupt board meetings in Daily and Northwest Heralds

6:25 AM - Disappointed that there were no stories in papers (Oh wait this is Wednesday; I have to wait until Friday)

6:30 AM - Make list of ways to disrupt tomorrow’s meeting

7:00 AM – Scour Daily and Northwest Heralds for stories that mention people on my hit list. Blog negative comments about them every five minutes until another blogger publishes the dictionary.com definition of "obsessive-compulsive"

8:05 AM – Call Daily and Northwest Heralds and suggest law suit if negative blog comments about Larry Snow are not removed from sites immediately

8:15 AM - Call Cal Skinner and discuss what stories I will be sending to him that day for posting on the McHenry County Blog

9:00 AM - Finish conversation with Cal

9:05 AM – With list made at 6:30 AM in hand, call my puppet Jameel at the Daily Herald and tell him what disruptions to expect at upcoming board meeting. Ask for a preview story including my photo

9:30 AM – Use same list to suggest preview story with photo in Northwest Herald by Tom Musick or Brian Slupski

9:40 AM – Disappointed by response from Musick and Slupski, make list of ways to try to get new reporters and editors on the District 158 beat at Northwest Herald

10:00 AM - Watch DVDs of past board meetings to perfect my style in causing disruptions

12:00 NOON – Eat lunch with Aileen and provide her with her instructions and word-for-word statements to be made at the next day’s board meeting

1:00 PM – Drive to Linda Moore’s house and drop off “public comments” Moore will make the next day during the board meeting

1:30 PM - Send e-mails to a variety of school officials and board members on a range of issues that will take them all away from their real jobs for the rest of the afternoon

4:30 PM – Call Teachers Union Co-president and tell her I'm fighting for the teachers and will get them all the money they want in their new contract

4:45 PM – Call Del Webb leader and tell him I'm fighting for the taxpayers and will make sure the overpaid teachers will not get any raises in their new contract

5:00 PM – Dinner

5:30 - 9:00 PM - Go through school documents looking for things to use to disrupt board meetings

9:05 PM – Call Director of Transportation and make sure we have our lines straight for the discussion on buses that will take place at the board meeting

10:00 PM - Climb into bed and open book from Dr Burkey: “Failure is Not an Option”

10:01 PM and 15 seconds - Close book and fall asleep dreaming of next board meeting and negative headlines that will follow

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