The Top Ten Reasons Why You'll Never See Larry Snow's Face Carved into the Side of a Mountain

OK, most of Bongo's readers thought the Mount LITH spoof was a good one. But a few of you thought that Bongo was giving Mr. Snow way too much credit by even placing his image next to great leaders like George Washington, Thomas Jefferson and Abe Lincoln. So here is Bongo's top ten list of reasons why you'll NEVER see Larry Snow's face carved into Mount Rushmmore or any other mountain for that matter.

10. Those on Mount Rushmore never changed their names or lied about being related to the former U.S. Treasury Secretary John Snow.

9. Washington, Jefferson, Lincoln and Roosevelt never filed frivolous objections to the candidacy of their political opponents to knock them off the ballot.

8. Having a heart of stone does not qualify a person to have their face carved in stone.

7. The Mount Rushmore Presidents never suggested skimming money from a children's fundraiser (Jump Rope for Heart).

6. Washington, Jefferson, Lincoln and Roosevelt offered positive contributions rather than just sitting back and complaining all the time.

5. People who form political action committees for the expressed purpose of spending money to ruin the reputations of their colleagues are not typically considered for placement on mountainside sculptures.

4. Those on Mount Rushmore fought for righteous causes, not demented personal agendas.

3. The Rushmore Presidents all supported constitutional rights, including the right to free speech for all (this would include high school student newspaper editors who wish to express their opinions).

2. Washington, Jefferson, Lincoln and Roosevelt never supported a deal that would allow their friends and political allies to live tax and rent free on taxpayer owned, public property.

1. Even though Snow would select the artist for the permanent carving, he would immediately start attacking the credibility and integrity of the artist and eventually the artist would quit.

...Besides, even if a monument was erected in Snow's honor, rather than express any appreciation he would just criticize the artist's work, and make wild claims about "missing money" and a conspiracy by the “board majority”.